There’s something to be said about U2 and their music; it often puts me in a contemplative mood and it’s easy to get lost into. There is something very special about the weird atmosphere created by The Edge’s minimal delayed guitar riffs, Larry Mullen Jr.’s drumline snaps, Adam Clayton’s mysterious basslines, and Bono’s very powerful yet sometimes very incomplete lyrics.
I should be in bed right now, gearing up for that 7:30am meeting with an unruly child and a parent that may or may not show. But I can’t help but to think, get lost in some Irish post-punk, and to write.
I’ve been sitting here tonight thinking about where I was a year ago with my life and how I ended up to where I am right at this moment. My life in the past year has been a complete and utter roller-coaster. It’s been confusing and exhilerating. I have gone from my highest highs to my lowest lows. A year ago at this time, I was looking at jobs back in Cleveland and thinking about moving back because my job was completely and utterly unbearable at the time. I was getting ready to head to Savannah with my best friend at the time for St. Patrick’s Day. And in a bizarre turn of events, I had a friend from college profess her love to me, and told me she had planned on visiting me this time a year ago and wanted to have a long distance relationship.
I never did find that job and never did move back. I had a blowout with my best friend on that trip, and an even bigger blowout in the summer and we’re more or less no longer friends. And that girl who was in love with me never did visit or start that relationship with me.
Achtung Baby is better than Joshua Tree, I’m telling you.
Not that I am all complaining about my state of happiness currently. It’s just bizarre to think about the whirlwind that my life has been ever since I’ve moved down here. It feels like eons since I’ve moved here, and since all of these things have happened. Though, the one regrettable part in all of this is the losing touch of friends up north. I suppose that’s why we have internet and email. But there’s something missing lost in all this wireless communication. And no matter how hard you try to stay in touch, deep down, we all know that it’s not just the same.
Losing friends is hard business. Business that I’ve always had a hard time dealing with. Business I’d much rather not ever have to deal with.
About 4 months ago I started to date one of my closest friends here in Georgia. She was one of the very first people I met and befriended here in Georgia. I had met her at work orientation 2 days after I had moved into Great and Growing Griffin. We became close and eventually just started to date. It was never forced and it all feels very natural. She’s been my rock and has kept me afloat through a lot of the crazy things that have happened to me down here. She has improved my life 100%, no doubt about it. And I’m much happier, healthier, and positive than where I was a year ago. She makes me completely and utterly happy. I’ve never had anyone like her in my life, and I thank God everyday that she entered into my life.
Despite my social and personal life being in great shape, I cannot say the same regarding my professional life.
I’m not entirely sure what I want to do when I grow up. Today was one of those days where I was on fire. I knew the kids learned something and it was one of those days when you walk out of the building and you say to yourself, “This was good. This is what I want to do with my life.” When I can teach – I am unstoppable. I am the Social Studies Colossus; there’s no way of stopping me when I am on my A game.
However, those days are rare and too far in between. On most days I put out fires rather than teach, babysit rather than educate, and spoon feed rather than enrich. It’s a tough job and there are a lot of days where I feel like I can’t cut it.
With work, it feels like it hasn’t gotten any worse but it hasn’t gotten better. At the beginning of the year, that was fine. But at this point? I want more. I want this school to progress. I don’t want one step forward, two steps back. I demand more from the administration, the kids, and the community.
There was this study that was just released and it said that students who listen to music such as Beethoven, U2, Radiohead, and Sufjan Stevens tend to be more intelligent and do better on the SATÂ than those who listen to Lil’ Wayne, T. I. and Aerosmith. Maybe that’s why the kids resent all my music…
To be honest, I can’t complain at all about my life here in Georgia. There’s been unbelievable progress from a year ago. It’s weird to think about. Sure – the job is a drag and I come home more frustrated than anything else regarding our crumbling public education system and the failures of today’s American family. But most people hate their jobs – we’re all in this together. I have good friends, an amazing supportive family, and an unbelievable girlfriend. Things have finally settled down and I feel comfortable. I can finally call this place home.
Not only is Bono saving the African children from AIDS, playing rock ‘n roll, but he’s also making the world more intelligent with his music. He’s really doing it all. I want that life. And his sunglasses.
