Bob’s Blog

I have the best friends in the world. I sometimes don’t think I deserve them. This was the best birthday ever and I’m truly blessed to have the people that I do in my life.

Student after being pulled into the hall after being yelled at for being rude, disrespectful and singing during the middle of me lecturing:

“You’re trippin’. My momma don’t even yell at me like this.”

Perhaps that’s part of the problem.

I just realized that I have lost touch with so many people in the past year; some who were my closest friends.

Life moves by too fast.

Apparently, the state is making some serious cuts in funding for state education. We may or may not be affected. We were called into an emergency faculty meeting before the day started and were informed of these potential cuts and that if any cuts were to be made, it would be “based on performance” and not on seniority; it was intimidation in the purest form.

This very same announcement was then made to the kids during 1st period.

The kids then spent the day asking questions about it, and wondering if me, or any other teacher in the building, were going to get fired.

I wish the people running the show took a class or two on communication and management.

I also wish education never took a backseat to war. Anybody who takes money away from education is a damned fool.

Most of today was spent in frustration. This week, for whatever reason, has been a bad week. It’s been a deadly mix of students acting up and the administration being obnoxious. Today, it was the administration’s turn to put the screws to me.

I’ll lay it out right now: I’m not a perfect teacher. I can always do better and there are things I can do to improve on. After all, it’s my second year. I’m still trying to find out who I am as a teacher and it’s still a little bit of trial by fire.

I found out through the grapevine today that my name came up in conversation by some higher ups. Apparently, some are “concerned” about me and feel that I am “too laid back”. Last week, I found a copy of Harry Wong’s First Days of School in my mailbox with a note inside of it saying that this book would “assist” me as I continue on my “endeavor to be the best”. I took it as a slap in the face and found it utterly insulting. I was observed for a grand total of 30 seconds the day prior. Some of the kids were working, some were not. The kids were fine and I was waiting on the few that were still working to finish up so we could go over the worksheet.

But she wouldn’t know that, would she? She was literally there for under a minute. It’s a joke.

Now, of course, just last week I was told I was “on it” and that I’ve been doing a “great job” and I need to “keep it up” by one of the other administrators.

I wouldn’t feel so insulted by this “laid back” comment if it wasn’t for the fact that it’s never been addressed to me and nobody has come up to me and talked to me about things. I would take constructive criticism much better than getting a fucking book by Harry Wong slipped into my mailbox. I mean, really? This is how you deal with your staff? This is how you treat others? Spare me. It’s infuriating and insulting.

I’ve been once again been insulted and embarrassed. You put me through hell last year,  you can’t even remember my name, I’m courteous and friendly to everyone at work, I mind my own business and don’t cause/start any drama, I dropped everything in my life and left everyone I care about for you…and this is how I’m going to be treated?

The talk around the school is that she’s bi-polar, or on some type of medication, or something. Her mood swings are ridiculous and she treats the entire staff poorly. This is just not me, it’s a very good portion of the school.

I don’t even know what to think or do. I don’t even want to go in tomorrow. It’s like walking on egg shells all day, everyday. This environment is not healthy. It’s negative, and miserable. I was hoping and praying that things with the administrators would have changed. Nothing has.

That’s the most discouraging part of all of this.

Today was awful. It felt like every kid decided to just tune me out today and do whatever they wanted to do; one of those days where I sat at my desk and wondered what I was thinking during those 5 years of college that made me want to teach; one of those days that made me just want to walk out on the job; one of those days where I have no desire to go in tomorrow.

I put on Bruce Springsteen while they worked so I could calm down and relax. The kids complained. I didn’t care.

You know, I like my kids so far this year. They’re generally good and well-behaved. They’re full of energy and they’re fun and we have a good time in class so far.

But if I have to explain to my freshmen where the hell Canada is on a map one more time, I’m going to lose it. If you’re in 9th grade, and you still don’t know where Canada is…there’s a serious fundamental problem.

I have a story to share tomorrow. I’m still sort of in disbelief over it and what happened today. Kids expect too many handouts these days, and schools are way too willing to comply.

My friends and I at the school are much younger than most of the staff. We’re a bunch of 20-somethings who graduated college only a few years ago. The oldest friend in our group is 30, if that tells you something. We’re fun, we’re young, and we don’t really fit into the mold of most teachers there.

Last week, before school started, we got lectured. We got lectured about not to have tattoos, not to have nose piercings, to not have “stuff” (as it was put) on our doors (even though none of it was inappropriate and much of it was school related). It was implied that if you have a tattoo, you’re more or less some type of whore. We were also told that we’d “better be careful” who we hang around with and that my group of friends were the “wrong crowd”.

You know, I get the idea of trying to build an atmosphere of professionalism in the school. I understand that. I’m Mr. Professional, I’m a company guy. I get all that and will generally support that. I get that having tattoos all over your arms is not a good look for a teacher, or most anybody with most jobs. I get not having certain types of piercings.

But I don’t appreciate the moral lectures. I don’t appreciate the women being slagged for some of the (innocent) clothing they wear and I don’t appreciate being told that my group of friends are somehow “bad” people and that people should stay away from us. My friends are far from “bad” people, and in fact, are some of the most genuine and caring people I’ve ever met. We’ve all been thrown into a bad situation and we’ve become family.

You know, I don’t deny the fact that we’re kind of goofy. We’re young and we’re different and we don’t connect to most people there. However, I don’t appreciate the condescending moral attitude held by some administrators. I really don’t care if this is deep South and the heart of Baptist country – I resent the fact that you’re shoving your morals down my throat and you’re trying to paint us in a bad light.

Keep God out of my classroom. And keep God to yourself.

When your graduation rate is barely over 50%, and you can’t pass AYP – then perhaps my morals should be the very least of your worries.

She’s getting put down tomorrow morning; it’s for the best.

I’ve been a mess all week. I love this dog too damn much and dealing with this has not been easy.

She means everything to me and I love her just as much as anyone else in my family. She was one of my best friends. She got me through high school and a lot of other bad times in my life. She was amazing and I just wish I could say goodbye to her. One could not ask for a better dog, or friend, than Sara.

This has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to deal with. This past year has been too fucking much.

R.I.P. Sara.

This year, they’ve extended our day by 20 minutes and also cut our lunches down by 10 minutes. I don’t even know how you can extend the day, and yet in the process shorten our lunches. That’s like dividing by zero: just can’t be done. But they did.

We have one of, if not the longest, school day in the entire state.

My lunch is only 25 minutes.

In the faculty meeting on Friday, the administration conveniently decided to not talk about this or bring it up with us.

I wish we had unions here. I wish it wasn’t a dirty word to talk about. While I don’t believe that unions are as necessary as they used to be, I’d much rather work at a place that has them then a place that doesn’t. What this school gets away with would never, ever happen up north.

One of the big selling points for some of the teacher organizations here in the south is that they thump their chests that they are anti-union. Even after being here for a year, I still can’t figure out this place sometimes.