Bob’s Blog

2007 was a long year and the toughest year I’ve ever had.

I’m ready for ‘08. I’m ready for a fresh start.

I spent the past week back home, in Cleveland. For as nice as it was, it was also depressing to drive through the city and parts where I grew up. So many boarded up houses, homeless people, and no sign of things getting better; in fact, things continue to decline in the city.

Cleveland has so much potential because it sits on one of the greatest resources in the world (the Great Lakes), has people that are fiercly loyal to the city, home to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, sports teams that are doing well (finally!) and have plenty of history, and …and yet, the city is ailing.

I wish it would do better.

One of the things I’ve come to realize since graduation and using Facebook is that I really don’t miss college.

Well, I shouldn’t say that. I miss college, but I don’t miss college. I miss going to my history and political science classes, and then hanging out with the professor afterwards and continuing to talk about said topics. I miss learning. Hell, I miss writing papers. Anything beats lesson planning, that’s for sure. I don’t really miss the partying or the excessive decadence, or the nights where you wake up pants-less in a bush outside of the courthouse and wonder.

But maybe I’m just getting old.

- To cut out pop completely. I did great this year, but in the past few months, I’ve found myself drinking it fairly regularly.

- Drink 8-10 glasses of water each day. Again, did great. But the move really threw me off and I have not been able to get back into the swing of things again.

- Lose 30lbs.

- To become a better, more confident teacher.

- To not take my work/stress home with me each day, and not let the job continually allow me to be negative and pessimistic.

- Save money and set up a savings account within the next few months.

I’m pretty happy with all this. I think they’re all very much achievable.

A couple of Fridays ago, a bunch of us teachers were out and my friend Ellen (the art teacher) says to me, “Pope (why I’m called ‘Pope’ shall be told later), I want to draw you a picture for your room. You need one.” I reply, “Yes. Most definitely. But what though?” Ellen replies, “Well. I want something that expresses rage; skulls should be involved.” I  then add, “Yes! Skulls would be cool. How about a skull with a fist bursting out of the forehead of it? That expresses rage like nothing else.”

Her mouth dropped and she yelled out in excitement over this ridiculous idea.

So, yesterday, I get the following delivered to my room:

You can be rest assured it will be hanging up near my desk.

Bonnie, our crazy janitor, says, “It’s cute. Except the whole fist busting out of the brains thing. That’s not cute.”

Matthew Good – Hospital Music
Fall Out Boy – Infinity on High
The Hives – The Black and White Album
Modest Mouse – We Were Dead Before The Ship Even Sank
Against Me! – New Wave
Spoon – Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga
Tim Armstrong – A Poet’s Life
Brother Ali – The Undisputed Truth
Sage Francis – Human The Death Dance
The National – Boxer
Explosions In The Sky – All Of A Sudden, I Miss Everyone

Eat it, Pitchfork and Rollingstone.

I wake up everyday and wonder what type of impact I’m making and how much the kids actually learn. I look at some of the things other teachers do, especially some of the newer ones…and I become jealous. Jealous because they seem more comfortable with all of this and that they seem to be better liked by the administration.

I feel like a failure in a lot of ways. I do my best everyday and I’ve invested myself into this school and the vision that is being sought. I’ve dealt with an undeniably horrible situation and have been the consummate professional about it all. And somehow, that doesn’t feel enough because some people have questioned me and my teaching skills. I’ve done everything I feel like I could do. I’d like to think that I’m making a difference and that some kids actually care. But that doesn’t feel that way right now.

I’m tired.

I’m pretty sure that Egg Nog is one of the greatest things ever created. You can only drink it for a couple weeks out of the year, but it’s always well worth the wait. A little bit goes a long way.

Plus, if you hate life, drinking an entire half gallon of egg nog will only help further your disgust for life and make you feel miserable and worthless.

Egg nog is truly a gift from the gods.