I found this the other day, on Matthew Good’s blog. And, I really, really liked it. So, I thought I’d share it with you. Attaining true happiness is not easy, for anyone. And it just seems like it really is a battle everyday to try and win:
For as long as I can remember I can’t recall a time when I didn’t have this stone in my gut, the taste of battery acid in my mouth, or this fog dulling my vision. There are those that contend that happiness is easy, that it is definable, automatic, and effortless, but I have never put much stock in such whimsy. Happiness is a war waged every second of every minute of every day. It is a process that, like a sausage maker, transforms the raw into packaged uniformity, ready to cook or burn or discard. Happiness is, in my experience, as disposable to most these days as razors and rice.
In favour of what though? The answer is as ironic as it is flimsy – a better version of happiness. The grass is always greener, the sun brighter, the water warmer in paradise. Within the enchanted walls of happiness is to be found ever altering perfections of days and moments, of carnal meetings, of passion and laughter. A prison filled with drug addicts, the new happiness destroys more than it creates, pains more than it pleases, and divides more than it consolidates. And yet we desire it above all things.
Perfection is illusory. The most spectacular of cars gets you from point A to point B no different than the most practical and inexpensive. The perfect male or female body is only as desirable as what it contains, no matter our initial sexual impulses. No matter how attractive something is, if it’s nature is ugly then no amount of wishful thinking can amend it.
After a completely miserable, frustrating, and incredibly stressful week, the past two days have been exactly what the doctor has ordered to ease me over between now and Friday. It’s going to be another long, stressful week, but the past two days have been great. And it was so great to see good friends I have not seen in months.
I’m leaving Friday for Cleveland. I’m happy. I need to just relax and get some real time to chill out and not worry about anything for a little while.
My neighbors are starting to really piss me off. I may or may not have to bug Rich and borrow some death metal to shut these people up.
ag·o·ra·pho·bi·a
n.
Marked fear of being in places or situations from which escape might be difficult or embarrassing; fear of being out of control or fear of losing control when in a public place, eg, a restaurant, shopping mall, or classroom.
I think I’m going to run for President in the year 2020. I’ll be just turning 35 as soon as I enter office.
Because, quite frankly, I think I can do a better job than 98% of these idiots currently running our country.
Queens Of The Stone Age – Rated R
One of the best rock bands out there now, and an amazing album.
Best songs: The Lost Art Of Keeping A Secret, Quick And To The Pointless, Tension Head
So incredibly downright awful that it is completely and utterly amazing.
Mindblowing, more than anything else.
I’ve had it with this weather. I can’t handle it. 65+ one day, then 20 degrees and snowing on the next. The high today is supposed to be only 18, and that’s not even taking into account the wind chill.
I hate you, Mother Nature.
I cannot wait for the day when I can buy a hammock, fly down to Hawaii, pour a glass of lemonade, set up everything between two palm trees on a beach and nap in the sun all day.
I tought my very first lesson ever today in the classroom. It was on Al Capone, and mafia history in this country. I was up until 3 in the morning last night running the entire thing through my head. What to say, what not to say. I left early from Tonya’s 21st to get enough sleep and to run over everything again. I thought I had it all down. I was nervous, but incredibly excited at the same time. I said to myself, “I’m not going to stumble. I’ve got this. This is mine and this will go smoothly.”
It didn’t exactly turn out that way.
I totally blanked out on first period. I’m not one to get easily embaressed by things. I won’t exactly go out of my way to make an ass out of myself because I’m mostly a reserved guy, but when I do, I don’t normally get embaressed. Well, I made an ass out of myself and I was embaressed. I didn’t even know what to say. I kept stumbling. I was so nervous. The kids probably wanted to shoot themselves that period. It was incredibly brutal and painful. You know those times where time just seems to stop forever? Yes. That was one of those moments.
In my other classes, the lessons got better by leaps and bounds. I was much more confident. But, still. Just an incredibly painful day. My co-op says I did a great job though, better than most methods students and he was thoroughly impressed, given it was my first day of real teaching, ever. So, that makes me happy.
I’ve been up to my head in work. I’ve been incredibly stressed, overwhelmed, and just about everything else that fits under those categories. I hate Methods. And I hate the fact that I’ve only been average 2-3 hours of sleep each night this week.
Happy Single Awareness Day, everyone!
For the first time for as long as I can remember, I really don’t have to worry about money. While I don’t have a whole lot, at least, for the first time in a really long time, I can be content and not actually have to worry about it too much.
It’s a big stress reliever, to say the least.
