Bob’s Blog

I can’t really decide if 2005 was a good year or not.

On one hand, I experianced a lot of personal growth, some of it very hard. All of it being for the better though. On the other, I’ve lost a lot of people I was once close with, or things between my friends and I will never be the same.

It’s hard, being away at college. Whether it’s good friends graduating, or just living far away from people. Over the past 4 years, it’s caused a lot of strain and a lot of disintegration of relationships, this year was really no differant. That’s life though, and more of that is sure to come. Best to be ready for it. Through this year though, I’ve learned to be more forgiving of people and their past actions. I’ve let go of a lot of things and just learned to accept things the way they are. It’s not easy giving people second or even third chances, especially if they burned you.

This year was dominated by a lot of frustration. Frustration of my school work, frustration of my job, frustration with friends, frustration with women. Just everything, it seemed. My summer was ultimately miserable (and to be completely honest – this winter break has been pretty terrible), and for a while there, I was just completely angry and depressed at everything. And there have been a couple times this year where the stress and frustration ultimately got to me and I took it out on those who didn’t deserve it. I drowned in frustration and anger quite a bit this year, now looking back.

However, since August, I’ve learned to be more open about myself, to let things go. And to not be freaked out about things I cannot control. That’s always the worst – not being able to control events or what’s going on. But, I’ve learned that I can’t control everything, and I must learn to play the cards that life has dealt me as best as possible.

The biggest thing I’ve learned this year though is to just stay honest, on everything. Make sure you tell people you care about them, make sure you tell people what’s on your mind, and make sure you tell them that they mean something to you. Because, if you don’t – you might just never get that chance. I just cannot stress any of that enough.

I’m a much happier person than I was a year ago. There was quite a bit of self improvement and evaluation. So, I guess, in essence, 2005 was a good year all in all. But I hope 2006 goes a little bit smoother, and happier.

Screw Rolling Stone, Spin, and those snobs at Pitchfork. This is the real top 10 albums of the year. Lot’s of really good stuff. Some good rock bands made my list this year, surprisingly. Rock pretty much bores me at this point, but there were a few saving graces for me this year, like System Of A Down and CKY, both of which make rock actually somewhat interesting again.

Some stuff that didn’t make it, but could’ve made it:

Mike Doughty – Haughty Melodic
Facing New York – Facing New York
Jack Johnson – In Between Dreams
Death Cab For Cutie – Plans
Gorillaz – Demon Days

Oh, and Sufjan Stevens making number one on practically everyone’s list? Pfft. His idea of making an album for every state also borderlines on stupidity. And Rolling Stone needs to stop licking the asses of The White Stripes new one. Sorry, other than a few songs, a complete and utter disappointment. Ditto with Coldplay.

Plainly speaking, Sage Francis > Everything else this year, including Sufjan Stevens.

10) CKY – An Answer Can Be Found

9) Atmosphere – You Can’t Imagine How Much Fun We’re Having

Thrice – Vheissu

7) Franz Ferdinand – You Could Have It So Much Better

6) Fort Minor – The Rising Tied

5) Gang Of Four – Return The Gift

4) System Of A Down – Mesmerize/Hypnotize

3) Common – Be

2) Matthew Good – In A Coma: 1995-2005

1) Sage Francis – A Healthy Distrust

I just want to say, Merry Christmas to you all. I hope you all have a safe, fun, and wonderful holiday. And just remember that love isn’t measured by what you get, nor how much you spend on someone else.

It’s a time for family and friends, appreciating what you have and who you have in your life and to hope for better things to come in the future. It’s a shame that all gets drowned in the iPods, X-Box’s, and jewelry we’re supposed to be giving to one another. Don’t dwell on what you don’t have, but rather what you do (should be a motto for all times of the year, but this time of the year especially).

Merry Christmas, peace on earth, and all that good stuff.

- Bob

Apparently, someone has stumbled upon my site while searching for “Santa’s nude helpers blog” on Google.

Weird.

You know, I’m just going to come out with it, and just cover all the venting I need to do between here and January 7th. After this, you won’t hear me bitching about my job. So, I’m just going to get it all out now.

I really hate my job. I absolutely detest my job. I hate waking out of my bed each morning for this place. I hate it to the point where I just would rather die than ever have to go in there. It is the absolute worst place one could ever work for. There has been nothing I’ve hated more than this. Nothing. And the only reason why I do it is because of the money.

You would think, after 3 years, something would change. Anything. The type of people they hire, the managers they have, the way they treat their workers, whatever. It doesn’t matter. Just something. But, no. They don’t. Instead, it’s the same shit day in and day out. They don’t hire anybody, and if they do, they are incompetant. The managers don’t know how to manage, they are incredibly short handed. I, have to spend my day, feeling worthless because managers aren’t happy with my work no matter what I do, and customers aren’t happy no matter what. You never win, and the entire time, it just makes you jaded and hate people.

Sure – you might say, it’s nothing more than a grocery store. And that things like this shouldn’t get to you. It is a meaningless job for you, and you shouldn’t let a place like that bother you. And you know what? You’re right in thinking that. It is nothing more than a grocery store. It, in the long scheme of things, is nothing. It isn’t my career, it isn’t a hobby or something I have to enjoy doing. It’s a place where I should just simply go into for 9 hours, and call it a day and go home happy because it pays the bills. It is only for a few months and weeks at a time.

But, you shouldn’t hate your job as much as I do. There are not even any words to describe the hatred I have for it. None. You should be happy to go into work, and enjoy what you’re doing, no matter what job and no matter what length of employment. You shouldn’t have to put up with idiotic managers who can’t manage a store properly. And you shouldn’t feel worthless, and you shouldn’t feel like you just want to kill yourself over it. You shouldn’t go into your job and think, “Well, I might as well half ass it today because it doesn’t matter what I do anyways.”

The justification of “well, that’s just life, Bob” just isn’t cutting it for me anymore. Who needs a life like that? And why wouldn’t people try to improve things?

God. I am seriously incredibly frustrated, annoyed, and bitter at this place.

I don’t appreciate being lied to, or my ass kissed. I don’t appreciate being seen as just some throw away that you can kick around. Nor do I appreciate getting shat on when I give my best. I don’t appreciate the thinking that managers have that you should know everything about the store, and that you know how to do everything. No, the truth is – I’ve never worked most departments in the store, and if you’ve got a real problem with me struggling to learn new things or with my work in general, then get rid of me already and send me somewhere else. Grown men who are in their 30’s and 40’s shouldn’t throw hissy fits and tantrums when things 1) don’t get done because of time and/or 2) just don’t live up to their ridiculous standards.

So, there you go. I feel better.

It’s only been one day back there, and it’s like I never even left. Sigh.

Guess who gets to work Christmas Eve?

Myspace is a weird thing.

You have all these people competing for a number of “friends”, some ranging into the thousands. Bands constantly ask you to be their “friend”, and want you to come check out their music or shows. You have people posing half naked, or trying to look as hot and cute as possible, all in hoping to impress dudes who live on the complete other side of the country. Or people creating these ridiculous looking profiles and nobody being able to read anything off it because of all the ridiculously sized pictures, or the screaming hot pink font that burns your eyes.

But the weirdest thing of it, is seeing the people you used to be friends with, and used to go to school with. The people you’d see every day and every weekend, and now, don’t see at all. It’s a bit of a mindfuck for me, to be honest. It brings back a lot of memories for me here back in Cleveland, a lot of bad ones, some good ones. You know, I look through my high school year books and just think of all the people that have come and gone, and all of the things that happened.

I used to have a lot of ill will towards some of these people. I just got up and left for BG. And, ultimately, completely cut off contact with all the people I considered friends back here in Cleveland.

It’s hard, you know. I never fit in with a lot of the people, and I was hurt by some of the things people did and said about me. I guess, some people still ask about me from time to time though. Wondering what I’m doing, reminiscing about good times. High school, and the first year of college, are such bullshit. After 3-4 years, I still don’t make an effort to associate myself with most of those people, nor keep in touch.

I don’t have ill will towards them anymore though, after reading some of these profiles. I’m just happy some of these people are just simply alive, considering some of the things they did and were doing a couple years ago, and that they finally seem to be doing something with their lives.

The Odeon Shutting Down March 1st

For those that don’t know, The Odeon is my favorite concert venue. It holds close to 1,000 people. Anybody who has been anybody has played there. Ranging from Barenaked Ladies, Nine Inch Nails, 311, Marliyn Manson, Garbage, Megadeth, No Doubt, Incubus, Metallica. Just anybody who is anybody in rock/pop has been there. They have on there walls, countless pictures of bands who have played there.

It’s got a good vibe to it. It’s located in The Flats, and there is nothing going on down there. Everything is boarded up and barren, it seems. It’s rather sad. The Odeon is basically the only thing left in that part of town. Well, there’s The Scene Pavilion, but I don’t see how long that can last with Tower City Amphitheater just a little further down.

The city put in a House of Blues a year ago, on Euclid avenue. And, basically, they just couldn’t compete with it. If the HOB can put out the Odeon, then surely TCA can put out The Pavilion.

The last time I was at the Odeon, was back in May. Jen, Nate, and I saw Mike Doughty. It was an awesome show, to say the least.

(if you look hard enough, you will see me. Hint, I’m on the left side)

Damn. I’m going to miss it. So many good shows and so many good times there.

I was watching Bill O’Reilly the other night. I used to be able to tolerate him. I used to think that he just had his heart in the right place, even though I never really agreed with him on a lot of issues.

Now I find him completely intolerable, idiotic, and obnoxious. Mostly because every year at this time, he decides to “fight back” on the so-called “War on Christmas”. What? You didn’t know Christmas is fighting a war? That’s right, kids. It is. And you must choose a side! Side of God, or side of those damn secularists. You must either say, “Merry Christmas!” or “Happy Holidays!” and if you’re saying, “Happy Holidays”…well, clearly you are one of those bastard secularists who are trying to wipe out every single thing related to religion and spirituality in our society. Or at least according to Mr. O’Reilly.

Nevermind the fact that most people (in my experiances) start saying “Happy Holidays” during Thanksgiving. And nevermind the fact that when we say “Happy Holidays” it has nothing to do with being politically correct. It’s simply saying, “Have a great time of the year. Eat lot’s of food, be happy, see your family and friends, enjoy yourself, etc.” and encompasses ALL of the Holidays from Thanksgiving to New Year’s Day. It is just a good time of the year with all the biggest holidays within a few weeks of each other.

Not because we “hate” Christmas.

If you really think about it though, who really does get offended by one telling them “Merry Christmas”? And even if they are Jewish, or they celebrate Kwanzaa, most rational people would get what you’re trying to express and would take that as a compliment. And what organizations out there really have the time and money to wage a supposed war on Christmas by ordering people to take down all signs saying “Merry Christmas”, or taking Baby Jesus scenes off your front lawn? If it’s “In God We Trust” on our currency, or taking “God” out of the Pledge, yeah, sure. I can see that? But, Christmas? Yeesh.

I’ve got this theory on the news media that they just pick the smallest, most insignificant story, and just blow it up to make money. Who really does care about the cute 9 year old blonde girl who went missing? Nobody really does. It’s a horrible thing. But it happens everywhere, everyday. It’s just like those police car chases, nobody cares. Or Scott Peterson. Nobody really cares, it’s just something for you to talk about when sitting around the office the next day. And to keep you away from the more important issues of the world, like why we went into Iraq in the first place, the state of the country, the AIDs and poverty in Africa and Asia, or things with actual substance and impacts.

There is no war on Christmas, people and stores say “Happy Holidays” to encompass the major holidays during this time of the year, and to actually be thoughtful of others. But, who needs that during this time of the year, right?